Smile

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Mamiverse

No Difference, Not The Same

There was a boy with skin as dark as earth
And a girl with eyes as blue as the deep
And they loved each other so well
That people could not tell them apart,
For in their hearts, there was no difference between them.

StoryPeople

Don't run away

There's a place that I know

It's not pretty there and few have ever gone

If I show it to you now

Will it make you run away

Or will you stay

Even if it hurts

Even if I try to push you out

Will you return?

And remind me who I really am

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

Like a diamond

From black dust

It's hard to know

What can become

If you give up

So don't give up on me

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

Don't run away

Don't run away

Just tell me that you will stay

Promise me you will stay

Don't run away

Don't run away

Just promise me you will stay

Promise me you will stay

Will you love me?

~ "Dark Side", Kelly Clarkson

Remember

"Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other." ~ Gandhi

How Little

Oh I have so little
Of things, of fame, of power
And now, of love and compassion

It does not matter
When I look around
I see things in clutter
Little, but I keep losing count

I had so much, only to lose
I was trying to hard to gain
So hard that I was always on the move
Leaving behind pain

Pain for my baby, my treasure
So much pain for my baby

It seems to matter so little
No one with, to celebrate
Of success and failure
I can only suffocate

In my own loneliness
Constructed unhappiness

Oh please Lord give me another reason
Another chance, another jewel
To desire and to treasure
Forever, and brand new everyday

Give me money or power
But it is so little
Without you, now lost and moved on
Without you, how little

And I curl up, nightly

At last, no longer

by Arthur B. Binder

Cheering each other on,

sharing recent works,

news of late accomplishments,

prospects, plans, doubts, wishes…

admiring each other’s good looks—

sharing space, watching each other eat—

little communal bits celebrating

life and hope—before one gets to be

over the hill—seeing the far sea

(not the “Pharsee” [Farsi]; nor the “Pharisee”)

The farce, see? and the FAR SEA—

And the dim sunset – greening, greeting—

when one gathers about

family and friends—when one—

tired and alone—still questioning—

gathers (all about oneself) skin and bones—

curls up somewhat like a fetus (like a farting dybbuk)—

waiting—wanting—to close one’s eyes.

More to learn, next time

If you’re depressed, you could be dragging your mate to the dumps with you. Here are 5 common symptoms that wreck relationships – and expert advice on how to get love back on track… 

1. Your sex drive tanks.
When your mood plummets, it usually takes libido with it, says Paz. 

Since sex is often the glue that bonds couples, and your guy doesn't get why you haven't been intimate lately, he may think you’re not attracted to him or don’t love him anymore.

What you can do: Explain that it really is you, not him. And that while your desire has evaporated, it’s not a reflection of your feelings for him. 

What your partner can do for you: Focus on being close without any expectations about the outcome. 

2. You squabble more.
Are you nagging more, or acting short-tempered, impatient and cynical, which leads to fights? 

“People think depression is about being tearful all the time, but it also comes out as irritability and negativity,” Bonior says. 

What you can do: Acknowledge that your mood is affecting your behavior. And give him permission to remove himself from the fight, says Bonior.

What your partner can do for you:Though it’s common for the depressed person to pick on a partner, he doesn’t have to take the bait, says Betchen.

Instead, he should look for ways to diffuse situations before they blow up. A good start, says Bonior, is saying something like: We’re fighting a lot more. Let’s try to understand what’s going on here. 

3. You’re isolating yourself. 
Depression makes you want to withdraw into your own island of despair. 

You might be ashamed you can’t pull yourself out of the funk. Or if you don’t have the energy to connect with your partner, you might drop out until you feel better.

“There’s an emotional checkout with depression,” Paz says. “You’re not present in anything but your darkness.”

What you can do: If you can’t talk face-to-face, send emails or leave notes for your partner that say I love you, Thanks for your patience, Bear with me, You’re the best. 

What your partner can do for you: Stay nearby, so you can both feel close even if you’re not interacting.

“Showing you’re supportive but not smothering is the best act of love in this tough time,” Paz says. 

4. You don’t want to go out. 
When you don’t feel like doing anything, it’s tempting to curl up on the couch and order takeout.

While that may be all you can manage, eventually even the most devoted partner will get cabin fever and resent your diminishing social life. 

“Part of depression is being turned off to things you used to be enthusiastic about,” Bonior says. Giving up hobbies and not keeping up with friendships hurts relationships. 

“To the partner, it can seem like the person they knew isn’t there anymore,” she says.

What you can do: Find an activity outside the house that brings you joy. Gardening, yoga, talking a walk, listening to music, laughing with a friend.

“That’s a lifeline. Even if it’s just an hour, it can make you feel better for that time,” Bonior says.

What your partner can do for you:Look for opportunities to take you out even for a short time. A midday movie could be a good choice. 

5. You’re letting yourself go.
Maybe you don’t notice – or care – that you haven’t changed out of your pajamas for days. 

“When you’re depressed, everything feels overwhelming," Paz says. "You feel like you can’t do all of it, so why do any of it?” 

Without understanding why you’re gaining weight, not doing your hair or putting on nice clothes, your partner could interpret your lack of effort as disinterest in the relationship.

“He wonders why she doesn’t want to look nice for him anymore,” Bonior says. 

What you can do: Instead of getting overwhelmed by the process, take baby steps.

“Go minute by minute,” Paz says. 

What your partner can do for you: Convey support, not criticism. 

A blessing in disguise

The wisdom out of this is the beauty of discovery.

This was scary at first. Everything felt like it was all crumbling, in extreme disorder.

But I discovered. Walked with my companion around this area, previously uncharted. 

Felt like I finally got to live in the city. I walked, and I breathed, and I smiled. 

The sun and the wind was so generous, keeping me company, though felt empty.

Sure it is OK.

Two new mates share my space. Sonya shared her cooking today. Spicy, but pleasing and warm to the heart, as she was sharing her life story. I share a tiny bit of mine. A tiny bit of yours, and your Indian fascination. Clearly I want to know you more. 

They both clean! We are building a life together; separately but together. 

I will enjoy this privacy, til' I find intimacy again.

I want to introduce Sonya to DC. Perhaps we pass by. 

You can get coffee with. And I will pass by, unaware.

Your happyness with, and mine, as we set each other free.

Bless each other free.

My loss, my defeat

I am done, smoking gun

We've lost it all, the love is gone

He has won, now it's no fun

We've lost it all, the love is gone

And we had magic

And this is tragic

You couldn't keep your hands to yourself

I feel like our world's been infected

And somehow you left me neglected

We've found our lives been changed

Babe, you lost me

I wish I can say ...

"I know there's hurt I know there's pain,

But people change lord knows I've been no saint

In my own way, regret choices I've made

How do I say I'm sorry? How do I say I'm sorry?

I was scared, I was unprepared oh, for the things you said

If I could undo that I hurt you I would do anything for us to make it through

Draw me a smile, and save me tonight

I am a blank page waiting for you to bring me to life

Paint me a heart let me be your art
I am a blank page waiting for life to start" ~ Blank Page, Christina Aguilera

The first night, I could not sleep

You know I'm not one to break promisesI don't want to hurt you but I need to breatheAt the end of it all, you're still my best friendBut there's something inside that I need to releaseWhich way is right, which way is wrong
How do I say that I need to move onYou know we're headed separate ways
And it feels like I am just too close to love youThere's nothing I can really say
I can't lie no more, I can't hide no moreGot to be true to myself
And it feels like I am just too close to love youSo I'll be on my way
ALEX CLARE - TOO CLOSE